From “My” Wedding to “Our” Wedding

happy wedding couple

There’s nothing more exciting than that moment your man finally decides to take the plunge—getting down on one knee and asking, hopefully, through trembling lips, “will you marry me?” I hope this question steals the breath from your body, and maybe causes you to faint out of sheer elation.

After recovering from your love-spill and jumping up and down like a giddy little girl saying, “yes, yes, YES!” for about twenty minutes straight, you won’t be able to help but smile when thinking about the magnitude of this gesture. When your husband-to-be finally pops the  big question (can’t believe he waited so long, right?), it means a future with your best friend and lover has been secured. Getting engaged signifies his willingness to commit, desire to officially accept you into his family, and eagerness to spend hours upon hours expressing his relentless passion for you stressing about wedding planning. YEAH. Wedding planning is generally stressful and not recommended for anyone with high blood pressure.

Bridezillas during wedding planning

“We need to find tablecloths AND table runners?”

Many people would have you believe that weddings are more about the bride than groom, but marriage is the unification of TWO people. So, ideally, the planning should involve both the future bride AND groom. Let’s clear up this wedding stereotype: SOME men DO want to be involved in the wedding planning process, and some even want to be the one holding the reigns; however, it’s also very likely your man will want to have as little to do with wedding planning as possible.

If planning your wedding means everything to you and your husband-to-be couldn’t care less, spare him the boredom of waiting around for you to decide on EVERYTHING. Some brides-to-be ask their fiancés to be around for every step of the planning, but if voicing an opposing opinion, he quickly becomes viewed as a nuisance. In that scenario, the groom-to-be does nothing but occupy space around the perimeters of the real decision making, and his presence is just plain useless–besides, who wants to feel invalidated by the person they love?

I can only hope that isn’t what’s happening during the course of your wedding planning, as wedding planning is a great way for a couple to channel their individual strengths and come together to plan something truly special and representative of their mutual love. If you are wishing your husband would be more involved in the wedding planning, think about the wedding from his perspective for a moment: the wedding industry is incredibly female-centric and it’s almost expected for men to react adversely in order to preserve his masculinity (which supposedly diminishes when planning a heterosexual wedding). Try assigning your husband tasks that actually align with his interests, and maybe he will be more willing to get involved in the wedding planning process. There are many types of men out there, and any man can find SOMETHING to do that will benefit his (AND his wife’s) wedding.

It’s Time to Say Our Wedding

1. Manly Man

 

LinenTablecloth blog manly man

 

If your husband-to-be is a manly man who likes to work with his hands, there are plenty of ways for him to pitch in. Wouldn’t it be great if he put those carpentry skills to use by building an archway, canopy, or even a dessert table? Does he love to homebrew? Have him brew up a batch of his finest as giveaways! Is he a self-proclaimed whiskey connoisseur? Have him assemble a drink menu or, better yet, invent and name a cocktail in honor of your marriage!

 

2. Wedding CEO

 

LinenTablecloth blog Wedding CEO

 

Is your husband-to-be business savvy? With all the pretty wedding pictures on the internet, it can be very easy to get carried away with your spending on a wedding. If you are trying to stick to a budget, ask your man to be the financial planner. Have him speak to vendors directly and, who knows, maybe he can negotiate better deals on caterers, videographers, and any other wedding related expenses.

 

3. Music Man

 

LinenTablecloth blog music man

 

If music is your fiancé’s passion, let him take control of the music to be played at the wedding. The music played at your wedding sets the mood and shows your guests what you two, as a couple, are all about! Whether it’s selecting songs for your iPod playlist, finding a DJ, or interviewing wedding bands for a live performance, assigning the music selection to your husband-to-be will have him significantly contributing to the wedding planning process while allowing you to focus on other important things.

 

4. Mustachioed Artiste

 

LinenTablecloth blog mustachio artiste

 

If your fiancé is any type of visual artist, this one’s a cinch. Your husband-to-be can design visually appealing invitations (if you’re okay to part with that task). Better yet, a creative type could book the perfect venue, design tablescapes, and coordinate décor. Wouldn’t that be a huge weight off your shoulders? Thank your Picasso for his artistic eye and good taste.

 

5. Movie Mogul

 

LinenTablecloth blog movie mogul

 

Fiancé in the biz? Have him network to find you the best photographers/videographers you can find! This job is uber important because while the wedding lasts a night, the stills will last forever and serve as a reminder of the amazing wedding you planned together. If your husband knows good picture composition, have him view photo samples to ensure you book the best photographer possible.

 

6. Iron Chef

 

LinenTablecloth blog iron chef

 

If your husband-to-be has great taste (clearly he does if he chose you), have him fix the menu and contact caterers. Maybe he can even teach caterers to produce his own signature dish or fill a menu with his culinary specialties. Serving your husband-to-be’s original recipes is a great way to bolster his confidence as a chef while providing tasty eats to your guests.

Bored groom-to-be

Not all men are excited by choosing a wedding color palette

If your soon-to-be-husband is not overeager to jump on board with the wedding you’ve been dreaming of since you were 6, don’t worry—the number of men who do want to spend hours planning a big wedding extravaganza are seldom. If you are lucky enough to be marrying the kind of man who wants to be involved in every decision regarding your wedding, you should never let him go (even against his will, maybe) because he’s a rare breed worth keeping . It’s a problem if you use the possessive “my” as opposed to “our”wedding during the planning process. Never forget that tying the knot is about you and your groom-to-be’s love for one another, and the physical wedding is just a symbol of your love—really, it’s only your first day as a married couple of the many to come.

 

How did your man get involved in the wedding? Please share your story in the comment box below and tweet the assigned text, and you will be entered to win one of these great prizes!

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Credits:  Stressed bride found at wpic.typepad.com || Manly man found at quickmeme || Christian Bale as business executive found at comicvine.com || Music man found at caftanwoman blog || Mustache artist found at toptenz || Otto Preminger photo found at acertaincinema.com || Photo of chef Gordan Ramsay found at imglobal.me || Bored groom-to-be found at thelettingpeople.co.uk || Cover image found on theprettyblog